Hit the 'play' button

A few years ago I hit the pause button on my life.  No one told me to.  No one recommended it.  I was even warned against it. Yet pause I did.
Hopefully? Yes.  Foolishly? Maybe.
If I stayed still enough and quiet enough, if I didn't push or prod everything in my life would return to what it was.
But while I sat paused, life passed me by.
It went on without me it seems. 
Now I find myself reeling.  The painful decision to un-pause, to hit play - is difficult enough.
By pressing play I am actually deciding to discard the life I had been paused for. The one that I see now already went on without me.
Life is an impatient thing, it waits for no one.
Now I find I need to reintroduce myself to friends, to goals long forgotten and to life.
The self imposed stasis held me immobile even while some deep hidden part of me was crying to get out.
The only reason I know this is because there is a voice inside rejoicing that I am finally saying these things out loud. 
Saying them doesn't make them easier, saying them makes them more painful. 
Saying them makes it real. It is out there. 
You cannot deny it.
So I'm hitting the play button on my life.
It's going to suck. 
It's going to hurt. 
It's going to be one of the hardest things I've ever done. 
I have to do it. 
So much of life has passed me by already.